Photo drama of creation - pg 5 & 6

Well, really just page 6. Page 5 was more of the wacky ring theory. One of the rings fell down making a supercharged carbon environment that caused big plants to grow so that we could have oil. Also the sun and moon were there. The sun equals "New Covenant Rule" and the moon equals "Law Covenant Rule." So page 5 isn't that interesting.

Page 6 on the other is my first "What the heck?" page. Page 6 is why I decided to blog about this book. Page 6 changed everything for me. Let's see why shall we?

The conflict between Evolution and the Bible has been sharp. Nevertheless, unnecessary friction has been generated.

Only in respect to man does the Bible declare a special, direct creation of God. The statements of Genesis in respect to the lower creatures rather favor something along the line lines of specialized Evolution.

Yes, you do read that correctly - the Photo-drama of Creation, this epic movie/slide show by the JWs, actually taught that evolution (except as it applies to man) is true. As this article very clearly shows any form of evolution is not compatible with the JWs of today. I particularly like this quote:

Evolution is therefore incompatible with the Bible. Evolution presents modern man as an improving animal. The Bible presents modern man as the degenerating descendant of a perfect man. The idea that God directed evolution in order to produce man is also incompatible with what the Bible says about God’s personality. If God guided the process of evolution, it would mean that he guided mankind into its present diseased and distressed state. However, the Bible says of God: “The Rock, perfect is his activity, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness, with whom there is no injustice; righteous and upright is he. They have acted ruinously on their own part; they are not his children, the defect is their own.” (Deuteronomy 32:4, 5) Therefore, mankind’s present suffering is not the result of God-directed evolution. It is the result of one man’s losing perfection for himself and his offspring by rebelling against God.

In other words, the reason we die is because of God's judgment on man after he ate of the tree but it's not God's fault. It is man's fault. Therefore, evolution can't be true and the Garden of Eden literally changed DNA and molecular structure so we were no longer perfect but could now die.

The first JW president tried so hard to make the JWs scietnfic. Now the JWs have completely abandoned the very foundation of their religion and even call evolution a "religious viewpoint." However, I'm not going to talk to more - I think their words more than speak for themselves. As usual they are masters of the flip-flop.

Photo drama of creation - pg 4

So it's been nearly a week since my last post - I've been sick and haven't felt like doing much. It has taken all my energy just to make it through the week. But I'm better now so let's jump into to page 4 of the Photodrama:

The 2nd paragraph says that although the operations of God are amazing most of the time they are accomplished by the course of nature. Since they are so scientific they refer to another theory "cosmogony" again referring to the rings of the previous pages. Evidently this is what caused land to appear:

These, according to the Divine intention, so increased the pressure on the crust of the Earth as to cause it to buckle or wrinkle. These depressions became ocean beds and the upheavals became mountain ranges...This draining must have required a long time.

They also mention that Europe, Asia and Africa were "thrown up" first and that North and South America was thrown up later. It's also mentioned that the kind of vegetation growing on the 3rd day was those which "prosper best in darksome shades."

Now remember in previous pages we learned each creative day supposedly lasted 7,000 years. I'm not sure their vague ideas about "long time" and "much later" mean that much. What could the significance of North and South America being 2 or 4 thousand years younger than the other three mentioned? Pretty weird.

Of course JWs no longer teach a younger North and South America. And we've already discussed the whole theory of the rings. So far they aren't winning any points.

Photo drama of creation - pg 1

So I have a copy of the book The Photodrama of Creation published by the International Bible Students (later name change to Jehovah's Witnesses). It was published in 1914. The copy I have says it was a Christmas gift to Emery in 1917. The recording of the photodrama was shown all over the world and is talked about in the JW's book commonly called the "Proclaimers" book (a history of their growth from their perspective.) I was astonished to read the IBS teachings of that time. This is decidedly NOT the religion I grew up in. So I'll quote one thing a day. Let's see how many changes this adds up to.

Our Sun is only one of the fixed stars, of which the most up-to-date astronomical methods estimate there are one hundred and twenty-five millions. Around each of these fixed stars undoubtedly revolves a planetary System like our own. Thus reckoned, there are one thousand million worlds. Even this is not the limit. If we should stand upon the farthest and dimmest star, we should no doubt from there see as many more beyond. We are appalled at the greatness of the Universe. The zodiacal signs illustrate various sections of the heavens, visible at different seasons.

This is from page 1 of the book and I hesitated to even put this in. After all, the science was fairly accurate for 100 years ago. Even the comment about the zodiac could be seen as innocent enough. This page is accompanied by a picture called "Signs of the Zodiac" in a neat circle with the sun in the middle. However, the Society (as Jehovah's Witnesses call their parent organization) is vehemently opposed to any occult practices including astrology. You can see an article on their website about astrology here. It is inconceivable that such an innocent quote would be included in their literature today. Jehovah's Witnesses are taught that the light of truth is continually getting brighter so this small discrepancy would not bother them at all. It does, however, give me pause and sets the stage for what is to come.

my life

So in an effort to document my weird upbringing and update this blog more regularly I'm going to do 2 things. The first is report all my old journal entries. I found an old journal that irregularly spans 11 or so years. I'll change the names of all the people but that is it - I'm not going to edit anything. I think it provides a fascinating glimpse into a older teen - young twenty year old's life in the JWs. Lots of things are left out and I'll try to throw those in as I go along.

Alternating with that I'm going to post interesting things from old Jehovah's Witnesses' books - books even current JWs are urged to not read or ignore because the truth has gotten brighter. But that is tomorrow's post. Today's post is from August 27, 1988, a Saturday at the end of my greatest vacation:

We're just about to take off. I can't believe two months are actually over. My vacation to Soo Canada was the best!!

I don't want to leave. I've made so many friends. Mona and Simon Tulip, Noah and Elizabeth Friendly, Julia (who gave me this book as a going away present) Sandra - the roly-poly Italian and all the people from the complex - Rick, Dave, John, Toby, Tyler, Leslie, Lisa, Shelia, Marie and many others.

At my going away party there were over 30 people there. And those were "close" friends. Mona cried and I cried. Everyone gave me a hug even Simon and Nathan. I'm really gonna miss them; especially Simon.

During the 9 day Kingdom Hall build I had a lot of different jobs. I worked on:
roofing
tiling -- cleaning and placing
scaffolding (pushing and setting up - taking down)
cleaning
drywall
errands -- water girl
food - serving and preparing
carrying supplies
laying shingles
making chalk lines

It was FUN!!!!!!!

So what was going on here? Well, I was 17 years old and had spent 2 months with my aunt in Ontario. While I was there I had the "privilege" of helping build a Kingdom Hall/Assembly Hall and got to provide free labor. As you can see I took it as a genuinely enjoyable experience and due to all the people I met it really was a good time. However, even in this first post I see hints of a girl trying to do all the right things and desperate to make friends. Part of this is directly attributable to my childhood. Being good and toeing the party line was supposed to make you a successful JW. I was the best at toeing the line.

But I was miserably unhappy. As further (and somewhat embarrassing) entries will show later I thought it was all related to boys. I was a good JW girl and the things I wrote about guys I barely knew and how quickly in my mind I jumped to marriage is truly frightening.

I'm not that girl at all. Thank goodness for that.

Now for the JW background. That summer I went to two district conventions (4 day (at that time) meetings of JWs that lasted all day long). I vividly remember the feeling of being near the time of the end. At that convention there were new proclamations condemning the "world" and holding the JWs to be a beacon in the world. I've long since lost my notes and can't find a link to them on line. But this was the summer before my senior year in high school. I was getting ready to be a regular pioneer upon graduation. This required door to door, volunteer service for a total of 1000 hours per year (90 hours/month). These proclamations and promises that we were close to the end of the world spurred on my desire to enter the full time ranks.

I didn't want to have kids, I didn't want to be rich. At that time my goal was to snag a worthy JW (preferably a pioneer) and preach. Poverty would be my lot quite willingly as I looked forward to driving old cars, living in travel trailers and serving where the need was great. Every day I worked to convince myself that this was I really truly wanted. All because I really wanted to go to Gilead, the JW missionary school. The only way I, a woman, could get there was by being married. So I pursued being married with a single minded enthusiasm. Also, my local congregation had a bad habit of having young girls get married - most were married by the time they were 20. Now this wasn't necessarily true for all JWs but it was true where I lived.

I remember the chills I felt at those conventions that summer - made more potent by the fact that I heard them twice. 1986 had been proclaimed the "Year of Peace" by the UN - a group the JWs despise. I was on tenterhooks waiting for the other shoe to drop and the end to start.

At the same time this vacation was the first time I had a chance to have others see what I considered the real me. This began a war inside me that was to last for a long time as I fought to completely run away from a life that was not working for me. In the end it was moving or friends that would save me - it was a complete break from my JW past that finally brought me peace.

My religious history

So I thought it was time for a brief history of my background. I know at some point someone is going to come along and tell me that I just haven't studied the Bible, Quran, Torah, the Suttas or whatever other religious literature enough. I mean come on if I only prayed and studied more I'd be a believer, right? So this is my attempt to set that bit of nonsense straight.

I spent the first 27 years of my life as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I was a devout, pious true believer. I read the Bible all the way the through when I was 16 and then the following year did the same thing again in the King James version. Nothing I read at the time convinced me my beliefs were wrong. Time went on until I started going on the Internet and I discovered the vast inaccuracies of the JWs. But that still didn't "shipwreck" my faith. I prayed and prayed to be able show others how their belief was incorrect. Time went on and I was undergoing an inward struggle. Soon the cognitive dissonance became too much. One Sunday in July I was sitting in the meeting and the person giving the talk said "Let's read in Matthew about this topic." As he read the topic and applied I kept reading it and I realized that what he was saying it meant and what it really meant were two different things. Suddenly all of the things I had been learning, believing and teaching others seemed ridiculous. Something inside me literally snapped. I waited until the middle song, got up and went home. I have not been to a JW meeting since.

But that was merely the prelude to the next 10 years. I wasn't interested in partying or making up for lost time due to my ultra-restricted childhood. I also wasn't interested in trying to prove to others the JWs weren't true. I reread the Bible again and felt "Well, I may not have a religion now but I'll always believe the Bible is true." Then I met my now husband and found out he was Jewish. I began studying Judaism in an attempt to understand him and his family. I mostly wanted to know what all these words they kept saying meant. In the process I started reading about why Jews don't believe Jesus is the Messiah. Soon I found myself believing along with them. After a 3 year study I converted to Judaism.

I quickly grew disillusioned with traditional Judaism and its rules. I found it difficult to accept that the Talmud and other writings were from God. The continued building of fences around the Torah began to seem like a heavy burden. Somehow my husband and I became affiliated with a Messianic Jewish congregation. Wow, I thought, I can have the best of both worlds. However, this group was just as controlling as the Orthodox and the JW world. In the meantime, I started college and concentrated on my studies. I continued to study and pray. I needed a humanities credit so I took a course on Buddhism and even attended Buddhist services. I could never quite wrap my mind around the core beliefs although to this day I do use many meditation and in the moment practices from Buddhism.

All of this searching was really beginning to bother me. I prayed and prayed but never seemed to get any kind of reliable answer. My heart began to ache and I missed having a tight knit community. Although I STRONGLY disagreed with many doctrines of the church of my youth I did miss the closeness and reliability of such a close group. Around this time the Mormons began to visit and after a year I joined their church. About four months later I realized what sick twisted cult this was. It almost made JWs look tame.

Having now went to all kind of fringe groups I went with friends to a "true Christian" church. Very evangelical and large. Doing everything right kind of place. But I was appalled at the amount of money spent on upkeep of a church for 10,000 and the lack of concern for social issues. I also was appalled at the claptrap they taught children. I wanted my children to grow up feeling free to question and challenge and learn about any topic.

Perhaps a smaller church would be more my style. I still hadn't resolved the whole Jesus thing in my mind and thought perhaps it was because I was having trouble finding "real" Christianity. It doesn't seem like it should be so hard. After all, if the Bible was so infallible why was I having such a hard time? To a smaller mainline church I went. Although it seemed more liberal than the large church it still taught my children things like the reality of the flood. By now I had read enough and studied enough science to know that this was an impossibility. It was a deal breaker in my mind.

Suddenly I had to come to the realization that the Bible wasn't infallible. Once more I felt that familiar breaking inside me. But this time the ground grew unsteady all around me. I felt as though I couldn't count on anything. Around this time my oldest was diagnosed with autism and now I was truly floundering. What had my 10 years of prayer and study and searching and desiring and tears and heartache got me? Just confused, saddened and depressed.

Words supposedly from a French king helped. While viewing a field covered in flowers Louis the XIV is said to have remarked "Perhaps there are as many ways to God as there are different flowers in the field" or something to that effect. He probably didn't say it but it helped my aching heart.

Finally, I decided to put religion from my mind and research holy books. I did this for about another year. Hours and hours of research and at the end of the day I just couldn't believe. It was too ludicrous, too obviously written to explain ancient times. It was all a fake.

At the same time, one of my classes at college was Bones, Stones and Human Evolution. I went in totally not believing in evolution. I only took this class because it would count as one of my sciences and it didn't have a separate lab. This class took my breath away. It was like discovering an entire universe existed under my nose but I could never see it. I had read enough to have no belief in the early stories of the Bible. But the evidence we looked at, studied, touched, read about, saw pictures of and looked at under microscopes was incontrovertible. Evolution was a fact. There was no way for me to deny it. There were mountains and mountains of evidence and just no way for it to not be true.

Then I found humanism. There was not a principal in humanism I disagreed with. I believed the principles. It was me. I realized something very important before I gave up my last ditch belief in God. If God were true or not, it wouldn't change how I lived my life. I did most of the things religious people said you should do. If there were or weren't life after death, it wouldn't change how I lived my life. And in that moment I let God go. I could be a good person without being chained to beliefs made by men without any conception of life now. I could be a good person without thoughts of eternal rewards or torture.

That is when God became irrelevant to my life.